My Glass

I have been feeling very down on myself for the last few days.

Instead of concentrating on the many things that I have been doing really well, I have been focusing on the one thing that I have not been doing well (granted, it is one REALLY BIG THING as far as my weight loss goes...).

Tonight I've been trying to work myself out of my Glass Half Empty mode and think through all the HUGE things that I've changed that have stuck and made a huge difference in the quality of my life.

So tonight my glass is half FULL:

I have not had pop for MONTHS--I used to have 3-5 a day.

I RARELY have big sugar binges--I used to have them every day.

I rarely eat sugar at all--I used to eat MOSTLY sugar and little else.

I used to eat fast food every day (sometimes more than once)--I have cut down to anywhere from zero to 3-4 times a week (this is my One Big Thing).

I spend a lot of time at home--I used to hate being at home at all.

The kids and I walk to a park almost every day--I RARELY did that before, even when Snacks would beg.

I go to Target only once a month--we used to go almost every day.

I spend significantly less money since we are not going to Target and running around all the time (and I'm not buying all that pop and sugar).

I have been baking and even EXPERIMENTING (previously unheard of for me) with recipes.

I have turned my evenings into a relaxing time for ME to do whatever I feel like doing, instead of racing around trying to get my To Do List done (and things are still getting done!).

The house is clean and organized, the beds are made daily, the toilet is scrubbed, the refrigerator is stocked, and the lawn is mowed every week.

The laundry is always folded and put away.

The bills are paid and the checking account is "in the black."

I have read several books in the last couple of weeks--it used to take me MONTHS to read one.

I have spent an ENORMOUS amount of time writing.

I am doing things to "stretch" myself outside of my comfort zone to help further my writing career, even though those things make me feel scared and uncomfortable.

I am yelling at my kids about 75% less than I used to.

I can much more easily let Stupid Shit my husband says and does roll off my back.

I relax A LOT more.

I love my life.

Despite the Fact That I Sliced My Thumb Open...

it has been a fabulous day.

I had an "Oh my G*d, this is how normal people live!" moment when I was baking a pie (yes, Julia, you heard that right, I was baking a pie) late this afternoon.

I had a slight "sugar hangover" this morning when I woke up after eating a burger and fries and a few bites of key lime cheesecake at dinner after Em's graduation last night. I was really happy about feeling terrible since that meant that my body isn't used to eating that way anymore (used to be McDonald's drive-thru every day, remember?).

J and the kids slept until SIX THIRTY this morning which was HUGE because it meant that I got to eat breakfast AND shower all by myself this morning. It was heavenly.

Snacks was on his best behavior today working really hard to follow the guidelines of his new House Fairy Chart--she really tightened the screws for this week!

We ended up working around the house all day and got so much done. Things that we have been putting off for MONTHS (like FIVE months in the case of the dresser that got parked on our front porch last December), we got taken care of today. It felt so good.

Sissy napped and I got to read by myself in the yard while Snacks and his dad went to check on how The Big Rig is coming along, and took a load to ARC and another to Whole Foods.

This afternoon, I picked rhubarb out of the garden and baked a no sugar/no white flour rhubarb pie (it was the rosemary potatoes that did me in, incidentally, not the pie...), while Snacks pounded the crap out of every rock in the yard he could find with a sledgehammer, and J and Sissy hung out watching him.

Despite a quick break from dinner prep to make a family run to Urgent Care, we had a nice family dinner with (virtually) no whining from Snacks.

Although the day may sound completely unremarkable, it is a MIRACLE for me. J and I did not fight the whole weekend. Since I've been following the Radiant Recovery plan, things have been so much different. I had fries without skin and a white bun and some cheesecake last night and I felt like crap for it and got back on the wagon again today. No big deal, yet totally unheard of for me.

We stayed home almost all day. I didn't feel like I had to run away, pack the kids in the car and just GO somewhere; anywhere. I didn't have to figure out how I was going to get my "fix". I still don't have a ton of patience, but I'm not crabby and bitchy and obsessed with what I'm going to eat and how I can get a treat. I ate one small piece of my homemade (no sugar/no white flour) rhubarb pie and that's all I wanted. I'm not sitting here jonesing for it and trying to figure out when and how I can eat some more without being noticed.

It feels fucking AWESOME.

I Ran My Personal Best Today...

I decided only a couple of days ago to run the shorter version of the race I started training for earlier this spring. I had hoped to run the 10K race, but only a few days into my training, I realized my foot wasn't healed enough to compete.

Now that I'm finally on the mend (woo hoo!), I decided I would still take part in the event--just in a lesser capacity--and I'm really glad I did.

Even though it was cold and snowing (last year I ran the 10K in a tank!), I had a great race. I shaved almost SIX MINUTES off my 5K time just from February, and ran an 11:50 mile, which for me is HUGE! I finished with the runners, instead of at the front edge of the walkers.

Just before the finish line I had to say a little prayer that I wouldn't either puke or have a heart attack (thankfully, I didn't do either), and DAMN if that didn't feel AWESOME.