Jackass Update

For anyone who was wondering, my husband spent the next evening emptying the dishwasher, reloading all those that had piled up in the sink, and picking up the house after the kids went to bed.

And no, he will probably never learn.

Jackass Quote of the Day

Just in case some of you have been missing these from Marlee's Rant...

"It's not my job to come home at the end of the day and pick up
after the kids when I haven't been here all day."

(I had asked him to empty the dishwasher.)

Today is Mothers' Day

So what better day to take my laptop to the coffee shop by myself and go through all 3200 pictures we have taken on our digital camera but never printed?

I'm discovering some interesting things...like that it won't be costing me the $700+ to print all the pictures as I had originally thought because most of them are blurry and therefore unprintable...

and that my husband takes a lot (and I mean A LOT) of otherwise darling pictures of kids with snot running out of their noses.

Guess I'll save a lot of money by not printing those either. (Obviously we've already saved a lot of money on Kleenex.)

The Difference Between Us...

I consider socks dirty and send them to the laundry pile if I have worn them, regardless of the length of time they were actually on my feet.

He decides whether they are dirty or not based on how long he has worn them. (And for the record, 28 minutes--even though he went running in them--is not considered dirty.)

I Feel it's My Wifely Duty

to record these things since my husband has declared that some day he is going to write a book for husbands titled, What NOT To Do:

Last night I discovered that my dish sponge was missing. Gone. Nowhere. We searched high and low. We used to have a dog that ate sponges, but the current dog? Not a chance; he's too short to reach it anyway.

Since I go to Target every day, you would think that I'd have a plethora of extra sponges in my stockpile but, it turns out, not a one.

So it's 8:30 p.m. and I'm trying to get the kitchen cleaned up for the night, still haven't eaten dinner, still need to shower after my run. I can't clean the kitchen without a sponge, so I ask my husband--who is fully clothed including shoes, who has eaten, showered after his run, and is about to sit down at the computer or watch TV while I finish up the last hour of home care before I finally drag myself off to bed--if he will run quick to the corner store and grab me a new sponge.

His response:

"Do you really need a new sponge tonight? Can't you just go and get one first thing in the morning?"

Hmmm...Jackass, let me see... You could make the round trip by yourself RIGHT NOW in just under four minutes (no exaggeration there, Jen), so I can eat my dinner and won't have to go out in public all sweaty with my bangs in a clip, streaming mascara, in work-out shorts with suede CLOGS on, OR I can drag TWO KIDS to the store with me in the morning and then have twice as much clean-up work to do with TWO KIDS hanging off me and whining while I am doing it.

Yeaaaah...I don't think so.

His response to that?:

"You don't have to be such a bitch just because YOU'RE EMBARRASSED that you lost the sponge."

I had to end the conversation there and run to the store myself because, OBVIOUSLY my husband has gone completely insane.