Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Wednesday Check-In

I am down 1 pound this week.

Still 1/2 pound above where I was before I went north for Memorial Day weekend, but I'll take it. This week I was concentrating not on how much I was eating, but that I was sticking to my food plan and journaling so I could get back on track.

I've had an epiphany in the last week. I read somewhere (can't even remember where) a quote from a woman who had lost weight who said she decided not to do anything to lose weight that she couldn't see herself doing for the rest of her life. Um, duh! So common sense, yet something that has been a major stumbling block for me in the past 18+ months.

When I lost my initial 60 pounds in '06-'07, I realize now it was primarily because I was breastfeeding and baby-wearing. I never had to change my eating habits because I got a gazillion POINTS since I was nursing. I was running and gave that a lot of credit for my easy weight loss, but I'm running now and the weight has not been dropping like crazy like it was back then.

Obviously breastfeeding and baby-wearing were not things I was going to continue for the rest of my life and, sure enough, when Sissy wasn't nursing as her primary source of sustenance anymore, I started gaining that weight back right away.

I have been looking long and hard at the things I have been doing recently and asking myself if I can see myself doing them for the rest of my life. Counting POINTS and working out every day? Hell no. But I can see myself following my food plan--albeit not perfectly--for the rest of my life because it makes sense to me and for me, and it makes me feel a lot better physically and emotionally. I feel much more in control of my whole life, not just my food.

I've also been suffering from a little bit of burn-out on my usual routines, so I've been taking a look at what I have been Making Myself Do (or at least telling myself that I Should Do)--like yoga EVERY day, journaling, walking the dog and the kids at the same time--and trying to change things up; asking myself, If I could do whatever I want to right now, what would it be? And then trying to do it (keeping in mind that I'm home with two little kids 24/7, of course). I figure, I'm really fortunate, I get to be home and have total control over my own schedule, why the hell wouldn't I take advantage of that, instead of feeling guilty about it?

What an interesting journey...